19th May 2022
 
 
SR - Oh my, is that you???
Jan - Ha ha! Who else?
 
SR - Where have you been? I have missed you.
Jan - I have missed you too. I have missed our chats but I have had my head focused for the past few weeks and then the weather hasn’t been so great.
 
SR - That doesn’t usually stop you. What have you been focusing on?
Jan - I fell in love with a job opportunity.
 
SR - You ‘Fell in love’ with a job?
Jan - As soon as I saw the job description, I knew that if I were fortunate enough to get this position, it would change my life. Like falling in love.
 
SR - And I guess, like ‘falling in love’, you never know what day that will happen. How is the love life going?
Jan - please! There is no conversation with that at the moment. You will be the first to know 😂
 
SR - So what is the job and why did you fall in love with it?
Jan - There are exciting and ambitious plans to regenerate Stranraer as a town known for art and culture. I have been given the opportunity to be the Art and Engagement Officer. This means I will be bringing the people of Stranraer together to bring out the creators so that, as a community, we can create a beautiful and vibrant town.
 
SR - That sounds exciting. I can see you will be great at that. You are creative, passionate, and have a big heart.
Jan - Thank You. There is something else.
 
SR - Yes?
Jan - There is a beautiful Heritage Building that is falling down and the big project is to turn this into a creative hub that will serve both the town and visitors.
 
SR - That sounds amazing.
Jan - This is where I feel I have been guided to the job, like all the pieces of a jigsaw being put together. There is going to be a climbing wall.
 
SR - Oh. How do you feel about that?
Jan - I feel this is all meant to be. I feel I am being asked to make peace with climbing and that Murray is guiding me there. It feels like he is saying how much he loved climbing. I don’t believe there are any coincidences. What are the chances, in a small town on the edge of the country, having something like this developed and then a job coming up that Is perfect for me, that takes me towards facing the very thing that took my son’s life?
 
SR - I see what you mean. You are being very brave. Many people would turn away from that.
Jan - I know. But I am not afraid. I know how much Murray loved climbing. I know how it made him feel alive and filled with joy. He made a mistake. Perhaps he has lessons he wants me to share with others. Anyway, it is a long time off being ready. There is a lot of exciting work to be done to make that happen.
 
SR - This is great news.
Jan - It is but like everything, there are two sides. I know I share this journey with Murray but I can’t stop myself wishing I could see his face and get a big, proud hug from him.
 
SR - And he would be proud. You know that.
Jan - I absolutely know that. I know that also because Iona and Lewis are massively proud of me too. The joy will be stepping up and manifesting the job and seeing the benefits in the town. It isn’t an easy job!!
 
SR - Jan, I haven’t known you for long, or maybe I have known you forever, but when have you ever chosen easy???
Jan - Ha ha ha!!! You do know me well. 😂
 
SR - I know it is little compensation but he will be with you every step of the way. You will get signs and feel messages. Perhaps some of those messages will become part of what you do. In which case, Murray is still having a positive effect on the world. I look forward to hearing how things unfold. I hope it won’t keep you away from me for too long.
Jan - It won’t. I won’t be able to come as often as I have been but I will always come for a chat.
 
SR - When will you get to see Iona and Lewis and get celebration hugs from them?
Jan - I will see Lewis at the weekend and then we are all together for, what would be Murray’s 25th birthday in June.
 
SR - That Time is coming, is it?
Jan - Yes. It feels like each Birthday gets harder to handle. Then, like in the past, it is the run-up that is the most difficult.
 
SR - I can imagine. At least this time you have something to, I don’t want to say ‘distract you’ but, distract you.
Jan - I know what you mean. My job will prevent long moments of sad reflection. As always, I don’t doubt I will turn this around to a celebration. It is just the paradox of loss and how sadness and celebration are intertwined. I haven’t figured that one out yet.
 
SR - Let me know when you do.
Jan - I will. I better get going. I need to get sorted to go and collect my hug from Lewis.
 
SR - Enjoy. I will see you when you get back. When do you start your job?
Jan - The 6th of June. I will come and visit before then.
 
SR - Great. Safe travels.
Jan - Thanks 💛🥰
 
 
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